past couple of weeks.....

A lot has happened with me these couple of weeks that have involved my girlfriend. i dont want to involve what actually happened or even talk about it on here since its something we both need to work on. i was a pretty happy guy being with her and getting all happy and "gitty" when she would tell me she is coming up to salt lake city. to be honest its something i just dont want to lose over something so silly, and yet serious that went down. so now im just talking with her and trying to figure out what her and me need to do. i want to get back together. its something many friends have told me not to do but honestly i know myself better than anyone else and if im getting myself in to deep doo doo then so be it. its just hard right now now being able to hear what she wants and its causing me to get stressed. Ah stress...... the word i despise so much because i deal so terrible under it. which leads me to another question, should i try to be with someone who stresses me out even before anything happens??? or is this one of those things that just has to be so that it can be sweeter in the end??? well i will say this, if it does happen it better be sweet. losing sleep and waking up in the middle of the night breaking cold sweats is not something i enjoy nor would i think anyone else would. i have been listening a lot to kanye west's new single called "love lock down" which has a verse that really describes how i feel right now:

I'm not lovin you, way I wanted to
I bet no one new, I got no one new
I know I said I'm through, but got love for you
But I'm not lovin' you, way I wanted to
Gotta keep it goin', keep the lovin' goin'
Keep it on a roll, only God knows
If I be with you, baby I'm confused
You choose, you choose

thats love lock down......